Archives For Leadership

Dealing with Failure

December 2, 2016 — 3 Comments

Recently, some friends asked if I would provide a keynote address at an organization’s 10-year anniversary. It’s an incredible privilege to receive invitations like this; they offer opportunities for deeper relationships, collaboration, and (hopefully) encouragement. I take these invitations seriously.

In preparation for this event, I thoroughly researched the organization and carefully prepared my remarks. Knowing that this was a major organizational milestone, I wanted to ensure that my comments helped advance the organization’s mission.

The talk went well—or so I thought. As I sat down after the talk, the fleeting glow of a job well done was replaced by horror as I realized that throughout my remarks, I had referred to the organization by the WRONG NAME! It wasn’t that I’d simply fumbled it once or twice—the organization’s name had two words, and I’d consistently switched their order throughout my talk.

In the world of special events, there are few things worse than an external speaker who gets the name of your organization wrong. And to my great embarrassment, that’s precisely what I’d done. Beyond embarrassment, I felt like I’d let the organization down.

How do we respond when we make mistakes?

Unfortunately, I seem to have experienced my fair share of leadership blunders, and know that mistakes can have a dramatic impact on your future effectiveness. They can sideline you. It’s easy to spend so much time obsessing over your failures that you are rendered helpless to accomplish anything else.

If you feel like you’ve failed, you’re in good company here. Welcome! Here’s my simple process for not allowing it to defeat you:

1. Own it.

Don’t try to sugarcoat your mistake. Refuse to blame somebody else or pretend that it didn’t happen. Don’t run from what you’ve done or attempt to cover it up. Acknowledge your mistake, and own it as yours. Go directly to the person you’ve offended, and admit what you’ve done. Cover-ups never work, and pretending that it never happened simply isn’t honest. Running to escape it will keep you at its mercy. Instead, choose to be honest with yourself and others. You may find that it’s a far bigger deal in your own mind! In my instance, the CEO of the organization was deeply gracious when I apologized profusely and helped me see the bigger picture of the event beyond this blunder.

2. Learn from it.

What lessons can you glean from your experience with failure? Moments of weakness can and should be redeemed, bringing deeper wisdom, greater empathy, and better practices. Following my experience, I have made it standard practice to always print the name of the organization at the top of my remarks, just in case. If correct pronunciation is a concern, I write the words down phonetically and practice saying them ahead of time to ensure that I don’t misspeak in the moment.  I sincerely hope that my error was the last time I will ever make a name mistake like that.

3. Get over it.

If you’ve owned your mistake and learned from it, it’s critical that you refuse to let it take you away from the good work that lies ahead of you. Instead of regretfully looking back, look hopefully forward. Welcome the next challenge that comes your way as a new opportunity to learn and grow.

And remember that getting over it doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting it. Use the memory of your experience to more quickly extend grace to others when they find themselves in a similar position. Moments of failure are never easy—but they’re an inevitable part of our shared human experience and serve as one more unifying thread that bonds us together. What a relief to know that we’re not alone in failure and that there is always, always hope on the other side of it!

Getting loaded into the ambulance after my injury on the soccer field

Not a fun moment…

A collision on the soccer field didn’t just shatter my ankle—it shattered the myth of my own importance.

As paramedics hastily carried me off of the field on a stretcher last month, my frantic mind was racing. It seemed like my accident couldn’t have come at a worse time. In only 12 hours, I was scheduled to be on a plane to Dallas, then Houston, then Raleigh. A few days later, I was slated to deliver a talk in Santa Barbara, and then Orange County. With my ankle precariously bent at an angle that the human ankle was never designed to bend, it was instantaneously clear that I was going to miss our largest events of the year.

“Will we have to cancel the events?” I wondered.

Before I had even been discharged from the hospital, my colleagues and friends began responding with thoughtful action. Within a matter of hours, my flights had been canceled, and plans had been set in motion for team members to step in and take my place at each event. With grace and incredible speed, these friends deftly agreed to cover all of my responsibilities.

As the following weeks of events unfolded, while I kept my ankle elevated on the couch, the results exceeded previous years’. Both HOPE International and the rest of the world kept on spinning.

After one event, I received a text that read, “Of course you were missed by those of us who have a personal love for you and your family, but it was evident this morning that others can equally do the job.” In other words, We missed you. But everything went beautifully without you.

Listening to the response from those in attendance at each event, it’s clear that my colleagues didn’t simply do the job; they knocked it out of the park.

My injury turned into one of the most freeing moments of my time at HOPE. I know that our mission would undoubtedly carry on with excellence when the time comes for my transition.

I believe it’s a high compliment a leader could ever receive in the midst of a transition would be if everyone—employees, outgoing CEO, incoming CEO, management, and clients—all thought, This isn’t such a big deal.

Healthy organizations refuse to become dependent on any one person. They build teams with multiple people who are each ready to step up at any moment.

My guess is that, due to a perilous cocktail of pride and lack of planning, few organizations are well-prepared for a leader’s transition. In fact, a 2011 study by CompassPoint reports that “just 17% of organizations have a documented succession plan.” It takes courage and humility for leaders to prepare for the moment when they transition, to ensure that, in a way, their absence is not felt.

Perhaps part of the reason that we don’t plan for what comes next is that we like to be needed. The idea that we are somehow indispensable to the mission feels good. Yet it is critical that we grapple with the fact that placing our egos over the mission inevitably sabotages long-term organizational impact.

If we deeply care about the mission of our organization, we will care deeply about what will happen when we’re suddenly out of the game. Perhaps one of the healthiest things we could do as leaders would be to shatter the illusion of our own importance.

(And to my coworkers, I hope to continue serving with you for years to come . . . but when it’s time to transition, there is no question in my mind that HOPE’s mission will continue! What an honor it is to serve with you.)

Empathy > Judgement

November 8, 2016 — 2 Comments

“Dad, is that you?” my daughter joked, hearing the click-clunk from my crutches as I walked towards her. Everywhere I go, I announce my presence with the sound of crutches banging on the floor. It feels like a major accomplishment to make it to the next room and a cause for celebration when I’m able to hop up a flight of stairs. Last month, while playing soccer in an over-40 league, I collided with the goalie. He won the ball, and I lost my ankle, as it bent into a horribly unnatural position. The result is a cast, some crutches, and a temporary end to my independence.

As I’ve hobbled along over the past few weeks, I’m suddenly noticing that not all buildings are friendly to people with crutches. In some places, there aren’t ramps or elevators, and some restrooms have such low sinks that they require a one-footed Pilates position to use. Other walkways are like obstacle courses, cluttered with hazards eager to make you sprawl awkwardly on the floor.

I’ve never thought much about buildings and disability access—until now. In fact, years ago I served on a church building committee. Due to a building code, we were required to install a ramp, and I distinctly remember wondering, “Is this really necessary?” when seeing the additional expense.

With disturbing ease, I would have unintentionally put up an obstacle to someone with a physical challenge entering a building and (even worse) a place of worship. Why? Because the issue didn’t directly impact me or anyone I knew. The deeper issue, I was severely lacking in empathy.

Empathy for others with physical challenges is growing as quickly as the callouses on my hands. Not that there is ever perfect understanding; the fact that I should be back on my feet in six weeks makes my situation pointedly different from friends who have longer-term challenges. But I hope that my current situation affords me a short-term glimpse of the world, and long-term empathy as a result.

In our fractured world, what might happen if we all started with a little more empathy? If we slowed down to try to understand before rushing to judgment? If we truly listened to others, especially those with whom we disagree? If we forcefully muzzled our critique and actively opened ourselves up to understanding?

James, the half-brother of Jesus, encouraged, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak…”

If we took time to imagine what it’s like to walk in another person’s shoes (or with their crutches), I’m convinced the world would be a much more gracious place. And as I’m learning, that’s where true healing begins.

Fighting Fear

July 6, 2016 — 2 Comments

A few months ago, I reconnected with a colleague from the Netherlands. We both worked in Rwanda but hadn’t seen each other in 15 years.

Over the course of our conversation, he looked at me soberly and stated, “Right now, the overarching narrative in our world, and especially in the USA, is one of fear.”

Fear

Is he right? Is the narrative informing our decision-making and understanding of our world truly driven by fear?

In some form, we are all intimately acquainted with fear. It starts small. When I was a kid, the sounds of our furnace made my young imagination run wild with images of what might be lurking in the dark corners of our basement.

As I got a little older, I valiantly conquered my furnace fears only to succumb to the terror of needles. To this day, I battle a dramatic needle phobia and have made an unfortunate habit of passing out at the sight of them. On not one, not two, but three flights (most recently this past week), simply viewing medical television shows prompted me to pass out right into my food, nearly causing an emergency landing in Germany.

As a young dad, I feared for my kids’ safety and worked to kidproof everything. As they grew, I did my best to ensure every bike ride was accompanied with helmet and kneepads before they ventured out into the dangerous world of concrete cul-de-sacs and slippery sand patches.

More than basements, needles, and bike crashes, this world gives of plenty of reasons to be afraid. We fear cancer. We fear senseless gun violence. We fear the next presidential election. We fear the unknown.

We all battle fear.

If we’re not vigilant, the siren song of fear causes us to orchestrate our lives to become as safe and comfortable as possible.  Fear causes us to protect ourselves more than we trust in God.  Fear tells us to avoid bold risks, give up when motivation wanes, love conveniently, and settle for quiet complacency.

Fear is an agent of paralysis. It’s a powerful tool the enemy employs to debilitate us and keep us from taking risks for what matters most. Fear causes us to:

  • Isolate ourselves. We slip into our numb cocoons, and allow Netflix and a half-gallon of Breyer’s ice cream to become our best friends.
  • Fear causes us to take refuge in ideas. We talk about theories of loving our neighbors instead of putting these ideas into practice. It’s easy to discuss the refugee crisis and use passionate hashtags on twitter, yet never even meet a refugee. It’s easy to quote verses on our Biblical mandate to care for those in poverty, and never to meet our impoverished neighbors minutes from our front doors. Fear allows us to show up at conferences without ever showing up in broken places.
  • Often, fear causes us to distract ourselves with our hobbies – because when we’re really busy training for our next marathon or burying our noses in the latest John Grisham novel, we don’t have time to take the risk of caring for others.

The good news is we can wage war on our fear. There is something that drives out fear – love. Bold, risky, and powerful, this love is not fluffy emotionalism, but gritty and true.

People who understand the power of Christ’s love refuse to give in to fear and drift into indifference. Rather, the love of Christ drives them into places of great risk and immense reliance on God. We step out believing that “God did not give you a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-discipline” (1 Tim 1:7).

If we are to look anything like the God we claim to follow, giving in to fear is simply not an option. Loving others only when it’s convenient or comfortable isn’t an option. Jesus himself modeled this by entering into our pain. The power of Christ transforms our fearful hearts, and replaces them with His heart. May we refuse to be a people of fear as we love boldly and serve courageously.