A few years ago I was looking at pictures from a Fourth of July picnic with my family. I came across a shot of my children seated with a man with his back to the camera. The man was clearly balding.
“Who is that?” I wondered out loud, suspicious of any man getting that cozy with my family.
“Honey, that’s YOU!” my wife responded.
No, it couldn’t be me. The man was missing hair on the top of his head.
Without saying a word, I dashed upstairs to the bathroom, grabbed a mirror, turned around, and stared at the top of my head. The mirror’s reflection matched the head in the picture. My wife and friends had been too kind. They’d neglected to tell me the hair on my head was slowly migrating to my ears.
While I could easily spot hair loss in others, I couldn’t see it in myself. And unfortunately bald spots aren’t the only things that I don’t always see in myself.
Too often I’m blind to things far worse than balding. Arrogance. Pride. Criticism. And all sorts of ways it’s easy to see specks in other people’s eyes while ignoring the planks in my own.
I’ve realized the true gift it is when friends lovingly point out my blind spots. But I’ve also realized the it’s often up to you to create space for them to share.
That’s why it’s so critical that we invite others to (lovingly) point out our blind spots.
I learned this from my friend, Tiger. After a day of fly fishing, four-wheeling, and male bonding in Colorado with some men further along on the journey than me (aka older and with even more hair loss), we had a candid discussion around a bonfire.
Tiger encouraged each of us to affirm each other’s strengths—but then also to share blind spots we see in these trusted friends.
Awkward silence.
We all wondered, Do we really want this sort of transparent feedback?
But after the conversation ended, I realized the gift to have truth spoken in love.
My friends shared with me one of my blind spots—that my youthful idealism can get me in trouble. While my belief in other people is a good thing, it can cause me to avoid making difficult decisions. And a few more …
Inviting people to share with you your blind spots may not be easy, but it’s worth it: Your friends see when your hair is migrating to your ears and when your attitude and actions are blocking the beauty of Christ.
If you haven’t had anyone point out your blind spots recently, perhaps it’s time to boldly invite your friends to do so.
